I don't really know who reads this, or if anyone reads it since I have not been consistent at posting. I am at a different point in my life now. When I started blogging it was because I needed a place that seemed safe and portfolio like (in case I ever became a big shot writer). Now I need a place to just say what I want and how I, as a part-time adult, am dealing with it. So here goes, my first online admission:
I am so happy right now, and yet I feel so useless. Let me start a few months ago. Back in May I started dating this guy, I had no idea if we would last or what would come of it. Two weeks into the relationship- it got real. We had a great time until late July when he lent me his car, just like he had before. I don't have my own car so we shared his car for a bit. To keep things short, I totaled his car. I was an emotional wreck, and felt I deserved the worst possible treatment. He and I were on the rocks, but he didn't leave. I felt useless. I wanted to do everything I could for him- drive him where he needed to be, do all of the car paperwork for him, pay all of the fees associated with the accident and buy him another car. I still feel useless in a lot of those areas but-
Fast forward to October, we are going so strong!! We are both working full time, and he is going to school as well. We found out I was pregnant!!! Fantastic. I don't know if you will read that sarcastically or not, but just know I still haven't decided how to read it. Now its late November, I no longer work full time, yet I am still trying to pay off all car related bills. He is now bring in all the dough, and yet I feel so responsible for the bills- Oh right, and we are expecting.
I am going to stop my story now, so that I if there are people who read my blog I leave them wanting more. Comment if you want. I know this writing is choppy in and out of the story, but I want to make it clear that I am not looking for sympathy or advice. I am just posting in case anyone thinks there is a normal life pattern- there is not.
